The Unbearable Rightness of Barbara Comstock

Barbara Comstock would stand comfortably in the muck and the mire of the corporate financed GOP  Plutocracy, as those are her origins and background. Her votes and adherance to policies representing ALEC & Koch Industries in the Virginia House of Delegates have left Virginians struggling for jobs, fair wages, benefits and affordable healthcare.
She has voted no to bipartisan transportation bills as Frank Wolf before her has done. Barbara Comstock has voted no on funding for teacher pay raises and more in-state slots in Virginia's colleges and universities. She has voted no to expand healthcare to 250,000 Virginians who have none.
But it's not all no votes. Barbara Comstock has voted yes to banning many forms of common contraception. She's voted yes to mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds. Barbara has voted yes to allowing concealed weapons in bars. What could possibly go wrong with that? Don't we have a Constitutional right to get hammered with our friends and our guns?
As a ALEC and Koch Delegate, Barbara has also voted yes to reducing state employee retirement benefits, which amounts to a betrayal of promises made for their years of service.

It was completely unfair of Foust to claim Barbara hasn't had a real job. I'm certain that what John meant to say is that Barbara Comstock never had a job serving real people, but only jobs serving corporate and partisan interests. Her tenure as a senior aide to Frank Wolf was mostly spent frantically and voraciously researching the Clintons for anything that the republican party could use to discredit the first family. After that she tirelessly performed opposition research for the GW Bush presidential campaign.
Barbara's worked with National Right to Work pimp and political bag man, Dimitri Kesari, and the Workforce Fairness Institute to erode pay, worker's rights and benefits for America's wage earners. But it's not all negative research Barbara has worked on, she also spent time constructing the republican playbook defending numerous GW Bush appointees such as John Ashcroft. She also sprang to the aid of California's Jerry Lewis, named one of the 15 most corrupt members of Congress in his day, Lewis 'Scooter' Libby, and Texas Representative Tom Delay prior to the pair's convictions and sentencing to prison. Her Law/PR firm, Corallo Comstock, dedicated itself to defending Bush administration aides,where so much malfeasance came up, it was practically a cottage industry for the firm.

Her lobbying career is nearly as long and storied. Her firm lobbied for the same Indian casino that snared the felon, Jack Abramoff. Barbara also helped Carnival Cruise Lines pocket 236 million in federal funds to provide emergency housing for Hurricane Katrina victims left homeless by the disaster. Later it was found that Carnival, using half-empty vessels, charged four times the allowable rate.

Barbara Comstock's view of the world and the political landscape is precisely why the republican party does not have a dominant control over national politics and must resort to obstruction, shutdowns and legislative hostage taking to make their mark for their corporate handlers.

But don't get me wrong, I'm alright with Barbara Comstock working in Washington. I just don't think the work address should be on Capitol Hill.

                             A remainder from our last republican vice presidential candidate

I'm just not buying all the Swiss citizen crap. I have it on good authority that Michele Bachmann was in fact born on Tralfamadore in 1956, the offspring of Billy Pilgrim and Montana Wildhack. The migraines which afflict the Congresswoman are actually a residual reaction to her frequently becoming 'unstuck in time'. Her origin also explains her regular use of the phrase, 'So it goes'. This is not to say that Bachmann is an actual Tralfamadorian, but has citizenship as a birthright.

"While in France, I lounged to be in Vietnam"

Michele Bachmann Iowa, First Draft

[Enter as strains of 'You Ain't See Nothin' Yet' emit from loudspeakers]

"Hello my fellow Americans and fellow Iowans! My name is Michele Bachmann, an American girl, and I am running for President of these United States! (pause for applause and laughter) [one Minnesota , two Minnesota, three Minnesota]

Many of you already know, I was born in Iowa, and it always has had a special place in my heart. And if I may borrow a phrase, "I am You!". THIS is MY Waterloo! I am so feeling the spirit of Waterloo's native son, Jeffery Dahmer, I could just eat you all up!

That's why it's so fitting that I officially declare my candidacy here, and I want to tell you all about my Jesu...PLANS for my administration.

As the founding father, and descendent of slaves, George Jefferson said, "We'll be movin' on up" with a Bachmann presidency! (pause for applause and involuntary incontinence) [one Holy Ghost, two Holy Ghost, three Holy Ghost]

It's time to take this country back from the people all across the nation! With the current one term occupant of the White House, people have lost their jobs, their homes, their savings and their hope. They've shown time and time again they can't be trusted with the economy, their own bodies or even voting in their own best interests. And I am so proud of my fellow republican governors and state legislatures across the land implementing stringent vote protection laws. Voting is a serious business and best left to informed citizens like those in the Tea Party, Americans For Prosperity and ardent viewers of Fox News. America has gone astray, and my presidency can regain and continue it's exceptionalism.

We have to bring this nation back to the values and beliefs that it was founded on. The sanctity of marriage, the trust and faith in God, state's rights and one corporation, one vote.

And the right to life is of paramount importance to me in my own life as well.

I have been blessed with five children with my husband, and together we have raised three hundred and twenty five foster children and brought them up right, as Jesus had taught us to do. They are the light of my life. And while most of them don't call us 'Mom' and 'Dad' like my own children do, many of them still call me 'Auntie Christ' when I see them out and about.

One thing I've learned talking to good people like you all out there, is that this nation needs jobs. In the last ten years or more, jobs have been our country's most important export, and a Bachmann presidency will make those numbers even greater. The federal minimum wage is one of the biggest roadblocks to employment for many Americans, and I vow to end government interference in the ability of children and men and women to get jobs in this country. (pause for applause and projectile vomiting) [ one Paul Revere, two if by sea, three Paul Revere]

So I ask you, for your support, your prayers and your blind faith like-mindedness as we make Barack Obama a one term president! The Lord gave me the sense to run for president, and I ask you now, that you give your cents, and your dollars to my campaign. Making their way through the crowd, with campaign donation plates, are my acolyte aides. When they come up to you, please give generously. The Koch brothers have some deep pockets, but your contribution will make all the difference in the world. Each dollar and check that you give will be personally blessed by James Dobson and Creflo Dollar before it goes on to do the great work of this campaign. So give for me, give for America, but more importantly, give for yourself and the future.

Thank you Iowa! God bless you Iowa! God bless God! And God bless America!"